Blogs

Have you ever heard of a blog before? No? Then seriously, leave this page, turn your computer off, and go outside, because if you're already reading this, at this rate, you'll never find out what a blog is.

What a Blog is
The blog is an important and recently introduced aspect of the much-lauded "Care in the Community" treatment for the mentally-handicapped. Mental patients (from the schizophrenic to the learning-disabled to the just-plain-weird) are invited to express their fears, suspicions, experiences and cravings by means of one of these occasionally-updated internet logs. The use of blogs as a general source of information and entertainment by a surprising number of Internet-users is therefore discouraged.

The concept of "blogging" (not to be confused with flogging) is said to have originated in the Amazonian rainforest, where European explorers observed the native hunter-gatherers communicating by means of high-pitched whining and long-drawn-out musical glossolalia. Although no actual information was ever conveyed by this meaningless prancing, the locals appeared to enjoy the sight and sound of each other's attempts and dancing along with them. The native Amazonian knew this practice in their own language as the "Surkull Juirc", but the name never really caught on in European circles.

Here are some ways to identify bloggers:

Due to their fragile mental state, bloggers can readily be identified online by their sub-normal writing ability, constant and pervasive paranoia, fondness for wildly implausible conspiracy theories (favourites include the Kennedy Assassination, the "moon landing", Area 51 and the notorious Al-Qaeda Superbowl "Wardrobe Malfunction" Plot) and severely under-developed sense of irony and/or humour.

In person, bloggers can easily be singled out due to their over-evolved buttocks (see J-Lo Syndrome), surplus body hair and incontinence. In addition, a blogger will tend to stand out at social occasions - he'll be the one frantically taking notes on a potato chip to write up later for that day's post.

In a survey conducted by the BBC, Blogging is the #3 activity of really sad people, preceded by #1 Premarital wanking which is followed up by #2 insatiable guilt crying. Other activities include Extreme Stamp Licking, (slightly altered using a combination of saliva and tears) and Ferret racing.

Blog Activity
If you haven't already, although you already did, because I checked, but if you haven't already, you can do that thing Joshua Concon and Joshua Manansala told you to do with that blog thing. What exactly did you do? Well, I'll tell you: However, I think there is a few marks you can lose if you're not creative. I'm not gonna list any names (Ace Malinis), but someone didn't get full marks because they weren't creative enough.
 * 1) Log on to Blogger
 * 2) Make Blog
 * 3) Make 3 Posts
 * 4) Make Another Page
 * 5) In your 3 posts, include a location, tags, and some other thing, I forgot.
 * 6) Email link to Joshua Concon.